Well, it has indeed been a significant journey over the past 1500 days and as I came in to write a little update, I decided that I might work out how many days between the break up (4 July 2011) and today (12 August 2015) only to discover that it's been 1500 days.Whilst I have no idea what I've done for most of those 1500 days, I can tell you that I have been for the most part happy (a life ambition of mine), always moving forwards in a positive direction and always choosing to have a positive outlook on life.
In the last week I took the opportunity to re-read back through this blog and can I tell you something? I have learnt so much more about myself since I finished writing this. I was simply marvelling at the place that I came from and where I am now.
So, an update. The last time I wrote I was seeing someone that I was pretty in to, well that ended because I quickly realised that he wasn't for me.Upon wrapping up that particular relationship, I made a concious decision to just be alone for a while and focus on my new job and try to make the best go of that I could. Well the world had another path ready for me entirely.
It's probably easier to tell you where I am right now rather than how I got here (because there are days when I don't quite believe how I got here myself). I am a mum, of twin girls. They are beautiful and the love I have for them is unlike anything that I've ever felt before in my life. Becoming a mother I have discovered that this is what I was always destined to do (a bit new agey I know, but stick with me). The girls are the result of a one night stand with a man that I barely knew (still don't) and to him I will be eternally grateful for the part he played in giving me the most precious gifts in the world. The last 18 months through my pregnancy and the first 10 months of my girl's lives, I have grown as a person, more than I ever thought possible. I have found true happiness in my world and I wouldn't change a single second of the life that has brought me to this moment in time.
I'm not going to pretend that life is easy, it's not. I'm not going to pretend that I haven't had my share of heartbreak, dissapointment and tears to get to this point - because I definitely have. I'm not even going to pretend that I know what's next - because no one possibly could (and if you've read this whole blog, you'll know that at times I didn't even know when I was hypothesising about what the future may hold). But what I will tell you is that I have no regrets. I reflect often on the decisions made and I can safely say that I will always stick by my decision to leave the relationship that I blogged about and not for one moment have I ever changed my mind on this point or thought about the "what it's".
I actually saw the man that I blogged about last March at a mutual friend's wedding and it was nice (for me anyway) to catch up with him and have a chat. It was a moment of realisation for me at the time as I was 10 weeks pregnant and it wasn't officially announced. As I spoke to him about whether we were single/taken (both single) and happy in our lives, it became more apparent to me than ever that I had continued to grow and move on at a rate much faster than he.
I still (very occasionally) speak to the man that this blog was written about. My personal opinion is that he is someone that defines "happiness" very clearly in his mind and when he achieves what he has defined as the ultimate act/goal/outcome of happiness, he realises that it wasn't actually something that was going to make him happy. It is my opinion that he will never stop doing this to himself and those around him. I can't imagine how exhausted he is always chasing the unachievable.
I still get such great joy from reading comments from people who have read my blog telling me about how it's helped them. For me, this was one of the main aims. The other aim was to be accountable to myself as I went through the journey of ending a long term relationship that I'd been emotionally jailed into for many years beyond what should have been acceptable.
As for what the future holds for me? I'm currently studying education with the aim to become a primary school teacher in time for my girls to go to school (we can all start school together). I am enjoying being a stay at home mum with my girls and watching them grow and develop everyday. Their cuddles, kisses and giggles are simply the best. My openness to romantic options for the future is very much there, maybe you'll have an update 2000 days later with the gossip. ;)
Who am I? I am the luckiest woman on earth. I am confident, happy and so full of optimism for what the future holds that some days I could burst. I am someone who acknowledges the journey that brought me to this place in time and someone who takes the tentative steps into the future, excited for what's ahead and the adventures that I'll be taking.
I always end these little updates wondering if I'll blog here again. I hope so, life is really just beginning isn't it? :D
In the last week I took the opportunity to re-read back through this blog and can I tell you something? I have learnt so much more about myself since I finished writing this. I was simply marvelling at the place that I came from and where I am now.
So, an update. The last time I wrote I was seeing someone that I was pretty in to, well that ended because I quickly realised that he wasn't for me.Upon wrapping up that particular relationship, I made a concious decision to just be alone for a while and focus on my new job and try to make the best go of that I could. Well the world had another path ready for me entirely.
It's probably easier to tell you where I am right now rather than how I got here (because there are days when I don't quite believe how I got here myself). I am a mum, of twin girls. They are beautiful and the love I have for them is unlike anything that I've ever felt before in my life. Becoming a mother I have discovered that this is what I was always destined to do (a bit new agey I know, but stick with me). The girls are the result of a one night stand with a man that I barely knew (still don't) and to him I will be eternally grateful for the part he played in giving me the most precious gifts in the world. The last 18 months through my pregnancy and the first 10 months of my girl's lives, I have grown as a person, more than I ever thought possible. I have found true happiness in my world and I wouldn't change a single second of the life that has brought me to this moment in time.
I'm not going to pretend that life is easy, it's not. I'm not going to pretend that I haven't had my share of heartbreak, dissapointment and tears to get to this point - because I definitely have. I'm not even going to pretend that I know what's next - because no one possibly could (and if you've read this whole blog, you'll know that at times I didn't even know when I was hypothesising about what the future may hold). But what I will tell you is that I have no regrets. I reflect often on the decisions made and I can safely say that I will always stick by my decision to leave the relationship that I blogged about and not for one moment have I ever changed my mind on this point or thought about the "what it's".
I actually saw the man that I blogged about last March at a mutual friend's wedding and it was nice (for me anyway) to catch up with him and have a chat. It was a moment of realisation for me at the time as I was 10 weeks pregnant and it wasn't officially announced. As I spoke to him about whether we were single/taken (both single) and happy in our lives, it became more apparent to me than ever that I had continued to grow and move on at a rate much faster than he.
I still (very occasionally) speak to the man that this blog was written about. My personal opinion is that he is someone that defines "happiness" very clearly in his mind and when he achieves what he has defined as the ultimate act/goal/outcome of happiness, he realises that it wasn't actually something that was going to make him happy. It is my opinion that he will never stop doing this to himself and those around him. I can't imagine how exhausted he is always chasing the unachievable.
I still get such great joy from reading comments from people who have read my blog telling me about how it's helped them. For me, this was one of the main aims. The other aim was to be accountable to myself as I went through the journey of ending a long term relationship that I'd been emotionally jailed into for many years beyond what should have been acceptable.
As for what the future holds for me? I'm currently studying education with the aim to become a primary school teacher in time for my girls to go to school (we can all start school together). I am enjoying being a stay at home mum with my girls and watching them grow and develop everyday. Their cuddles, kisses and giggles are simply the best. My openness to romantic options for the future is very much there, maybe you'll have an update 2000 days later with the gossip. ;)
Who am I? I am the luckiest woman on earth. I am confident, happy and so full of optimism for what the future holds that some days I could burst. I am someone who acknowledges the journey that brought me to this place in time and someone who takes the tentative steps into the future, excited for what's ahead and the adventures that I'll be taking.
I always end these little updates wondering if I'll blog here again. I hope so, life is really just beginning isn't it? :D
