Questions
In spite of all the ways you’re different, would you say that deep down or in some respect that’s important to you, your partner is someone just like you in a way you feel good about?
My answer
The author asks me do I feel like my partner and I are truly similar deep down and in a way that's important to me, but ensures a disclaimer that it can't just be a superficial similarity. When I think about this question, it's much easier to look at the differences between us rather than the similarities. And to find something meaningful is almost impossible. I've made a lot of changes in my life since I met my partner and I have adapted my attitudes, beliefs and a lot of other things to suit him.
The general similarities are that we grew up in the same town, we went to the same school (although a couple of years separated us). If I look at how he feels about his family compared to me with mine, I am much more in tune with my parents and sister than he is. If I look at our upbrinings, where his parents divorced and mine stayed together, then we are different.
We have shared a lot of experiences together, having lived overseas and travelled for the better part of the last three years. But these were never fundamental similarities for us before we did them. And at the end of the day, my reasons for travelling were to be with my partner and make him happy (a recurring theme that I'm hearing a lot in my own conversations about our relationship). His reasons for travelling were many and included: to not have to spend another Christmas with his family, to leave his job, to live in another country and to travel through Europe whilst doing it. Don't get me wrong, I have loved the experience and wouldn't do it any other way, but my intentions to begin with weren't clearly with my own thoughts and feelings in mind.
Quick take
Somehow, somewhere, when you look deep in your partner's eyes you've got to be able to see yourself.
My prognosis
I'm truly not sure here. I would like to think that we have something, but perhaps we did and we grew apart? Perhaps in all of the worrying about marriage and children, we've just grown apart. Now I should ask myself the question of what it is that I would find meaningful in a future relationship? I think having a similar family background, having the same view of marriage and children, I think having someone who is happy within themselves and wants to share that with another person are all important factors here. The author says that if I truly can't find a similarity that is meaningful then I'd be happier if I left.
In spite of all the ways you’re different, would you say that deep down or in some respect that’s important to you, your partner is someone just like you in a way you feel good about?
My answer
The author asks me do I feel like my partner and I are truly similar deep down and in a way that's important to me, but ensures a disclaimer that it can't just be a superficial similarity. When I think about this question, it's much easier to look at the differences between us rather than the similarities. And to find something meaningful is almost impossible. I've made a lot of changes in my life since I met my partner and I have adapted my attitudes, beliefs and a lot of other things to suit him.
The general similarities are that we grew up in the same town, we went to the same school (although a couple of years separated us). If I look at how he feels about his family compared to me with mine, I am much more in tune with my parents and sister than he is. If I look at our upbrinings, where his parents divorced and mine stayed together, then we are different.
We have shared a lot of experiences together, having lived overseas and travelled for the better part of the last three years. But these were never fundamental similarities for us before we did them. And at the end of the day, my reasons for travelling were to be with my partner and make him happy (a recurring theme that I'm hearing a lot in my own conversations about our relationship). His reasons for travelling were many and included: to not have to spend another Christmas with his family, to leave his job, to live in another country and to travel through Europe whilst doing it. Don't get me wrong, I have loved the experience and wouldn't do it any other way, but my intentions to begin with weren't clearly with my own thoughts and feelings in mind.
Quick take
Somehow, somewhere, when you look deep in your partner's eyes you've got to be able to see yourself.
My prognosis
I'm truly not sure here. I would like to think that we have something, but perhaps we did and we grew apart? Perhaps in all of the worrying about marriage and children, we've just grown apart. Now I should ask myself the question of what it is that I would find meaningful in a future relationship? I think having a similar family background, having the same view of marriage and children, I think having someone who is happy within themselves and wants to share that with another person are all important factors here. The author says that if I truly can't find a similarity that is meaningful then I'd be happier if I left.
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